I know ya'll think I'm holding out on you.

Some days, I just cannot face food. I made a grilled cheese sandwich today and ate 1/2, gave the other 1/2 to the cats. Oh, by the way, I used the heels of the loaf because I forgot to bake bread today. When I thought about it at 3pm, I figured it was too late to start. Anyway, dinnertime rolled around and I just couldn't muster up enough physical or emotional energy to prepare something. I had a 1/2 loaf of garlic bread from last night. I popped it in the oven for a few minutes and had some Jarlsburg cheese and a glass of wine with it. Some days, food just doesn't get me excited. In fact, the two times I ate anything today, it was only because I knew I needed fuel for my body. There was no desire in me for any food.

This lack of interest in food is new territory for me. I think I mentioned before that I used to weigh 280 pounds and am now at 118. Even after my surgery, I still thought food was my friend. Gradually, though, I came to understand the relationship between body and food as fuel. I was doing fine for several years. Lately, I just can't get with the program to eat. Last night, most of the spaghetti went to the cats. I no longer eat for comfort, friendship, or any of those other emotions that make us overeat. My dad has been getting on me for not eating (I'm 52 years old, for goodness sake!) and suggests that I drink protein shakes or something with some nutritional value. I think that's a little extreme. I do confess, however, that there's something going on that I don't understand. I saw my doctor a few weeks ago. I failed to mention my lack of appetite. He could see that I'd lost quite a bit of weight since last visit, but, he didn't address it. Of course, I call him Doogie Howser (not to his face) as he is young and still wet behind the ears. Most of the time when I see him for a complaint, he just brushes me off. I guess he thinks I'm just an old lady who likes to complain. Believe me, there's nothing I'd like better than to be in perfect health.

So, the short story is that I didn't use any stockpiled items today. I'm still staring at weeks' worth of food and I just don't want it.